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The Refined Collective Podcast

Nov 7, 2018

Integrated feminine wholeness coach Morgan Day Cecil’s message is that God designed you to embrace your inner sexy, and you deserve to lean into it. We are new friends, and already her femininity has inspired me. I hope she will inspire you to embrace your womanhood and sexiness as well. We talk about owning your sexuality for you, and not another person. We explore a topic I never have discussed publicly yet:  self-pleasure a.k.a. masturbation. 

How to Embrace Your Sexuality

  • When women ask how to embrace their sexuality, they are asking the permission to find freedom.
  • “We want a feeling of authenticity and freedom and wholeness in this area of life that sometimes seems scary and shameful.”
  • The typical definition of ‘sex’ is focused on the male experience.
  • “I want to feel alive. I want to feel desired, loved, wanted.” Often, people see sex as the answer to these needs.
  • Morgan recalls how her relationship with sex changed before and after becoming Christian and finding a deeper understanding of her sexuality.
  • “I started experiencing my sexuality through sensuality.”

Your Sexuality Is for You

  • One of the biggest lies I believed was that my sexuality was for another person. But then I bought myself some La Perla lingerie for me, because I am worth being connected to my sexuality whether or not a man gets to experience that.
  • Morgan went on a retreat in Rome and distinctly remembers bringing these women to buy lingerie for themselves.
  • “It doesn’t have to be about men. When that masculine energy comes in, we feel like we are in the seat of power. Not power over, but power that belongs to us because we are inhabiting our wholeness.”
  • Too often, female sexuality is seen as dangerous and manipulative.
  • “It’s this divine dance of intimacy that we are invited to be a part of.”
  • Coming to a deeper understanding your own sexuality is to become closer to God.
  • “Start intentionally making love with nature.”

Heartbreak to Healing

  • Morgan found herself pregnant with the child of a man who wanted nothing to do with it. She reflects on the moments of loneliness in this time.
  • Fear and anxiety led her to the hospital, but she left with a clearer vision for her life.
  • “I empowered myself to do what I could from where I was at.”
  • She was in the Cinderella mindset: “Somebody else has the power to give me a beautiful life.”

Inviting God into the Desire

  • Masturbation is one of the number thinsg Christian women ask us about.
  • Intentional self-pleasuring can be a very sacred practice. Most people masturbate in a fantasy that is devoid of any real emotion.
  • We talk about the slippery slope between the experiences women can have with self-pleasure.
  • To avoid the wrong experiences, we have to ask ourselves, “What story preceded this desire? Was it a story where the theme is fear or love?”
  • If self-pleasure seems like a big step for you, go at the pace you feel comfortable with. Maybe that means just being present in nature. This is your journey and you make all of the decisions.

I am so grateful for Morgan and for this unexpected turn in our conversation that I hope will speak to your souls. You can keep up with her at her website. She also posts videos to YouTube daily and she has a workbook available called “A New Narrative.”

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And another thing- I’ve launched a Bible study for YOU! The Space Between Bible Study and Meditation Guide will give you tools to create a regular rhythm of time with God. Head over to to grab your guide.


Kat Harris