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The Refined Collective Podcast

Mar 18, 2020


TRIGGER WARNING: We share some stories of trauma we have experienced in the past. This may not be a good episode to listen to with kiddos around. Know that if you have experiences trauma, you are not alone!


Tiffany Bluhm is the author of She Dreams and Never Alone; she also hosts the podcast “Why Tho” with Ashley Abercrombie (who was also on the podcast— check out her episode here.) Today, we are chatting about consent, whether it’s in the boardroom or the bedroom. We talk about the more nuanced topics like what messages clothing sends and are non-verbal cues enough?


Power Dynamics + Consent

  • What is consent? Vocalized agreement for something to happen between both parties, whether it is harmful or not. Consent involves concern and care also.
  • There has historically been an abuse of power when it comes to consent.


4 Questions to Ask Yourself in an Uncomfortable Situation

  • Is this okay?
  • How can I be an active participant in this situation?
  • What do I do to prevent this from happening?
  • What is my role as a bystander, as a friend, to anyone else it’s happening to?


6 Ways to Own Your Voice

  • Know your response to trauma: fight, flight, or freeze.
  • Find ways to create boundaries with the person creating discomfort/trauma.
  • Let go of the fear of seeming disagreeable.
  • Don’t let the little things slide— those inches quickly turn into miles.
  • Reporting behavior is hard and scary, but it is worth it and we owe it to ourselves.
  • Document the situation in any way you can— even by taking a picture.



  • If you have more questions on these topics, visit org.
  • The EEOC is a good place to report behavior if you are uncomfortable going to HR.
  • Keep up with Tiffany at com and @tiffanybluhm.


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