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The Refined Collective Podcast

Aug 26, 2020

Today is a big day, friends, because I’m chatting with Jamie Ivey! A few years ago Jamie had me on her podcast The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey. AND it was the first time I ever opened up about my faith and singleness. It was astonishing to hear the response to that conversation and it is part of the reason I am writing a book. Today, we chat about her book, You Be You, understanding our callings, how the church worships marriage, and how to maintain healthy boundaries in friendships.


Does being single in the church feel like being JV to the Varsity of married couples ?


Worshipping Marriage

  1. We talk about how some people feel their biggest calling is being a wife or a mother and the ways it can be a problematic feeling:
  2. The 3 Marriage Myths:
  3. Marriage will solve your problems, and fix you. i.e. eating disorder, body image, addiction, etc.
  4. Marriage makes you more godly.
  5. Marriage will jumpstart your purpose and calling.
  6. “This is on us as the church to quit proclaiming marriage as God’s greatest gift to us. It is a good gift, but I am not any more special than you because I’m married.”


Can Men and Women Be Friends? (Ya we went there…again).

  • We chat about how if you shut yourself off from any male friendships, you’re missing out on getting to know so many people.
  • Jamie talks about the boundaries she and her husband stick to when it comes to guarding their marriage.
  • #1 thing to keep in mind in guy/girl friendships: COMMUNICATION. If you’re developing feelings for a guy friend… SAY IT! 


Knowing Your Calling

  • Sometimes we can feel so paralyzed when trying to identify our calling, but we tend to overcomplicate things.
  • 3 Questions to ask yourself to figure out your calling (brought to you by: Tim Keller) to Know Your Calling:

o   Affinity

o   Ability

o   Opportunity (check the full article here)

  • “God has equipped you to do something great.”



  • Keep up with Jamie at and on IG at @jamieivey.
  • You can buy Jamie’s book You Be You hereText FRIEND to 33777 and Jamie will send you a free downloadable print and talk to you about her book!
  • You can listen to her podcast The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey here.
  • Listen to my conversation with Jamie Ivey on The Happy Hour Podcast here.
  • Watch Jamie’s family chat with Emmanuel Acho about being white parents raising Black children here.
  • Check out Tim Keller’s Calling Exercise PDF here.