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The Refined Collective Podcast

Jan 13, 2021

Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!


Anthony O’Neal is a financial expert who has served Ramsay Solutions since 2015. I was on his YouTube show, “The Table,” back in 2020, which you can check out here! I am so thrilled to have Anthony on the podcast and so excited to be talking about money. We talk about money and singleness, debt, mindset, and the narratives we grew up believing about money. 


Plus: What’s the BEST way to get out of debt? And how can you save and grow money once you’re out of debt?


$30K in Debt + Lookin’ for a Financial Savior

  • A few years ago, I was in $30K debt and praying for a financially stable man. 
  • A deal breaker for me was if a guy was in debt. But THERE I was rolling in debt. 
  • I wasn’t holding myself to the same standard of what I was looking for in a partner. So I committed to getting out of debt.
  • Don’t look for someone with no debt, look for someone who is in the same healthy money mindset.


3 Things You Can Do to Start a Path Towards Freedom


  • “Speak what you seek until you see what you spoke.” 
  • Say “I want to be debt free” every morning.


  • Stop borrowing money. 
    • If you’re tired of this lifestyle, do something about it.
  • Get a clear vision. 
    • Why do you want to be out of debt?
  • Debt snowball method at 
    • A step by step process on how to get out of debt, create an emergency fund, and start investing.


The #1 Asset You Have Is Your Mindset 

  • What are you looking for by spending money? What are you looking for it to satisfy in you?
  • Avoid being the “I’m gonna” person and actually do it.


Wanna Be Out of Debt by the End of 2021?

  • Yearly vision: getting out of debt by the end of 2021.
  • Break that down into monthly goals.
  • Breath that down even further into daily habits. 
  • Every day contributes to your ultimate vision.


Out of Debt… What Next?

  • The insecurity hits: “Oh no, I don’t have any savings.”
  • Emergency Fund
    • In case of emergencies, you have this reserve.
    • If you live in an expensive city, save three months of expenses. 
    • Let the money sit there
  • Invest money
    • Talk to a financial advisor if you can (check out for a list of people who have been vetted by Anthony and Dave Ramsey).
    • Save into a 401k.
    • Let the money grow.


Fast Math

  • If you make 5k a month, your rent/mortgage shouldn’t be more than 25% of your take home pay.
  • With a rent/mortgage of $1,250 and living expenses totaling $750, that makes $2,000. You should have $6,000 in your savings.




I wrote a book! It’s called Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex and it’s coming out in April 2021! I would love to keep you updated on all things book related (from book to to book launch team, to future events God willing)! Head to to get all the info.


We’re told that we should pray for our future husbands— it makes sense, right? The problem is: nobody ever teaches us how. My friend Stephanie May Wilson created the Every Single Moment Prayer Journal to help with exactly that. It is 100 powerful guided prayers and prompts to help you savor the present and prepare for the future. Go to and use code KAT for 15% off your order.