Feb 19, 2020
Hi, friends! We’re having the sex talk on the podcast today!! Are you waiting for marriage to have sex? Not sure when to bring it up in dating? Or how? We’re going to chat about that today, because I watched The Bachelor on Monday and have quite a few thoughts on this! Peter is the Bachelor and it’s causing quite the commotion with Madison. We’re one week away from engagement and they still haven’t had ‘the talk.’
Why I was afraid to tell guys I wasn’t having sex until marriage:
3 things to think before you have ‘the talk’
Just because they share your faith does not mean you have the same physical boundaries.
No kissing until marriage to everything but penetration—including anal—to some people who love Jesus + choose to have pre-marital sex.
Rejection is protection!!
It may make my dating pool smaller, but it makes it stronger.
WHEN: By date 3…although NYC dating culture moves quickly…so it’s not odd if I bring it up on the 1st date.
3 Reasons to Have the Sex Talk Early on
If you’re not having sex before marriage — this may help set-up physical boundaries in dating.
What didn’t work for me…getting naked on the first date.
If I’m getting what I want—but if he thinks this is leading elsewhere it’s in a sense being dishonest.
The only way a relationship can last + build trust is through communication.
As a couple you get to decide what boundaries will work for you—It’s an ongoing conversation.
A boundary might have worked in the past, but things may shift.
I HAVE AN EASY OUT: I talk about this stuff professionally.
However, the more I’ve shared, the easier it’s become. it’s a non-issue for me.
Here is what I say:
“Hey, I just want to be upfront. I don’t have sex until marriage + that’s not like a cute thing I say…I really mean it. So I just wanted to throw that out there + see where you’re at + what you think!”
RESOURCES FOR NAVIGATING YOUR WHY?
Struggling with online dating? Kait Warman of The Heart of Dating and I are hosting a live online workshop just for you on February 25, 2020. Grab your ticket here!
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