Jul 15, 2020
Today is part TWO of a conversation on
masturbation on the podcast. If you missed part one, check it
before you listen to this episode. This week, I’ll be walking
through what the Bible says about masturbation and if it is really
Is Masturbation A
Brokenness is the beginning of the
- My honest answer is: yes, no,
o Is it possible to
touch myself and explore my body and experience pleasure and stay
connected to myself, God, and others? I think so.
- All the way from Genesis to
Revelation there’s this rhythm we see of death to life, brokenness
to restoration, renewal and redemption.Clearly there is some
real brokenness with masturbation, but if Jesus came to make all
things new, is it possible that He could have a redemptive vision
for this too
- 1 Corinthians 6:12-13; 10:23
o Paul says it twice:
Everything is lawful, but not everything is beneficial. Everything
is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.
How Can Masturbation Be A
- God is for our pleasure. How do I
know? Taste buds, sunsets, brownie sundaes, and the only purpose of
the clitoris is pleasure.
- Practice Healthy Consent
- Consent in sexual encounters whether
it’s a hug or sex is VITAL. But if we don’t know what we want or
what feels good we won’t have the tools to communicate our wants
- Masturbation can be a way to:
o Know your body.
o Know what feels
good and doesn’t feel good.
o And have the
ability to communicate that.
- Mutual Honor and Acceptance
- We put on other people a tenth of
what we put on ourselves. If I judge, shame, dismiss my sexual
desire and in essence don’t accept it, how can I accept my
- Connection and Innocence
o Mark 12:29-30— love
God with all of you.
o Matthew 18:3— be
like little children.
o If little children
can masturbate in innocence, can we not get back to that as
- Practice Being Present:
- Dr. Celeste Holbrook, the
Christian sexologist, describes sensuality beautifully: it’s the
act of being present. She talks about how toddlers are the most
sensual beings because they’re in a constant state of
- Porn and masturbation are not
- Removes fear and shame around body,
self, and sexual desire.
Questions to Ask
- Am I addicted to porn?
- I am not here to shame you if this is
- Masturbation for a person addicted to
porn would be like a drunk living at a bar. Not a win for you right
- Phylicia Masonheimer has some amazing
resources for you around this topic.
- Sexuality can be activated by abuse.
If that is your story, I am so sorry and remember that it is never
your fault. Your sexuality is not tainted and you have permission
to work through this.
- Why am I feeling turned on right
- 50 Shades of Grey, porn, or a normal
- What am I really looking for in this
- How can I honor myself, God, and my
future in this moment?
- Really take the time to answer this
question for yourself.
- If shame weren’t a part of the
conversation, how would I show up?
- Shame and fear is not the heart of
God— Ephesians 3— rooted and grounded in love. Jesus came for the
abundant life— not a spirit of fear, but of power!
- Is it possible to masturbate and stay
present and not fantasize?
- Is it possible to remain in healthy
community with myself, God and others and masturbate?
- Is it possible to experience
self-pleasure and remain outward focused? Yes!
- Grace Alone: In every other area of
our lives we’re willing to fumble, but sexually we’re so terrified.
It’s like 1-strike you’re out and sent to the pit of hell. No!
- Just because some people may become
alcoholics, doesn’t mean everyone will.
- Who am I becoming? (Jon Tyson)
- What are the actions, words, choices
of your life propelling you towards?
- When to discern if this is
o Keeping you from
o Distraction from
o Can’t work, go out,
or sleep without it— like any addiction.
o Fantasy land vs.
So is masturbation a sin? Yes, no,
maybe. Where is your heart? I have masturbated in all 3 scenarios.
Give yourself permission to search your heart, to explore, and seek
God’s heart. If fear is a part of the conversation, reject it!
Books to Read:
Keller. The Gospel in All Its Forms. Acts 29,
December 12, 2008. https://www.acts29.com/tim-keller-explains-the-gospel/.
Accessed September 10, 2019. Another incredible resource
on this is the book Every Good Endeavor by
Timothy Keller. It’s a book I wish I would’ve read when
I was in my 20s; it would’ve saved me a lot of heartache.
who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”
Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and
true.” (New International Version, Revelation
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