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The Refined Collective Podcast

Jun 4, 2018

I'm still blown away by how many of you have emailed and asked me questions about my story on waiting until marriage to have sex.  In order to serve you better, this week I am talking with Church of the City New York pastor, Jon Tyson.  And yes, he’s our very first man on our podcast! (No pressure Jon!) We talk about the cultural landscape of sexuality in Western culture, and how we got here.  From the sexual revolution, to pornography, to online dating, to sex--we cover a lot of ground. We land on Jon describing what it looks like to develop a Christian vision for sexuality.

Y’all might want to grab a journal and pen for this one!  

‘Who Am I Becoming By What I Am Doing?’

  • “Sex is a powerful force, and how we use it shapes us tremendously.”
  • Jon asks why we as a society date people we know we don’t actually like. Is it because we lack a vision for our love life?


Developing a New Vision for Christian Sexuality


  • Sex points beyond itself.


  1. Jon teaches that sex points beyond the physical to our deep longing to be apart of something great than ourselves, outside of ourselves--to be full known, seen, and accepted.


  • Vision of Holistic Integration.


  1. Culture is obsessed with sex and technique.  Yet the Christian worldview is that of holistically integrating relationship, intimacy, heart, soul, mind, and strength.  


  • Sex is Tied to Our Transformation.


  1. Saying no to something we want in the moment has the capacity to produce deep growth within us through developing self-control, respect, and learning to think of others.  Saying no to sex outside of marriage develops our character, and leads to the Christian idea of sacrificial love.


  • A Witness to the World.


  1. Christian sexuality has the opportunity to offer a redemptive narrative in a world of hurt and brokenness.  Why? Because God is a restorer; it’s what He does.


Jon’s Favorite Resources

There is so much to explore about this topic, so Jon is sharing a few of his favorite resources for y’all!

I hope y’all enjoyed this episode as much as I did. Our first-ever male podcast guest! If you enjoyed this episode, let me know. Screenshot you listening to it and share it with me on Instagram stories. I want to talk with you! Remember, tribe, you are not alone in this and God has a plan for you.

If you want more, I have something you’ll love. I made a free PDF guide called “While You Wait” full of resources that I personally found to be very helpful while I was finding my ‘why.’ You can find it at




Jon Tyson’s Instagram 

Church of the City Website 

Church of the City Instagram

While You Wait PDF Guide