Jul 29, 2020
“You can never say, do, or
be the wrong thing to the right person.”—Hugette Montesinos
Hugette Montesinos Rodriguez is the CEO of Disfunkshion
Magazine and has worked with thousands of women worldwide
spreading her message of living a delicious life as she moves from
fear to freedom. She is the most colorful person I know and I’m so
excited to be talking with her about sex, specifically married sex,
and if it was better because she waited for it.
A Non-Linear Love
- After 9 months of marriage to her
high school sweetheart, Hugette discovered some heartbreaking
things that led to divorce.
- She recalls turning to God in this
season of heartbreak and healing.
- “You go from building a
life and a future… to all of a sudden your entire foundation being
- She remembers looking up at the
midnight sky on New Year’s Eve promising that for the first 3
months of the year she’d turn all of her thoughts and hopes for
love over to God.
- She went ziplining in Costa
Rica “…and that’s where I met my delicious
- This was in the middle of her love
fast, but she ended up connecting with him and he used a really
smooth line on her.
- As they began connecting more online,
she noticed he was committed to God.
- Realizing she was getting interested,
she was honest with him and told him she needed to not talk to him
until April. He respected it.
- Hugette shares a moment when it felt
like God was working in her life in a major way.
- After three months, they knew they
wanted to get married. They spent a year and a half long distance
dating and now they’ve been married for 5 years and have a
wonderful 10-month-old baby girl.
- In that time, Hugette was clear with
him that she wanted to wait until marriage to have sex and his
response was what everyone dreams they would hear.
- Hugette shares what it was like for
her to abstain from sex waiting for marriage when she had had sex
in your previous marriage.
- She is honest about the fact that sex
with her ex-husband was painful and lacking compared to sex with
her husband now.
- “Every part of it… it’s
like a party. It’s a celebration every time. I know I can be free
and I can enjoy every bit of it.”
- We chat about the difference between
external and internal orgasm. The first time she experienced both
was with her husband.
- “It’s this mind-blowing
experience. There’s a reason why this is so sacred. There’s that
physical, spiritual, and emotional connection.”
- There’s so much pressure around the
wedding night that their wedding night was actually terrifying. But
they were able to have an open conversation about it.
- “Don’t go into marriage
thinking you’re going to have mind-blowing sex on day
- Hugette shares that it’s important to
think of more than just attraction.
- “If life is this marathon
that you’re going to run together, who is going to be your best
teammate who is really going to be alongside
- She stresses the importance of
communication and vulnerability. Tell him what you like.
- “When a guy is really
that into you, so much of his sense of pleasure and satisfaction
comes from seeing the satisfaction in you.”
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