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The Refined Collective Podcast


Sep 23, 2020

Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!

 

This week, I’m chatting with the incredible Lisa Bevere. You may recognize her as the author of GodmothersLioness Arising, and Girls with Swords. Or you may recognize her as the mother of Addison Bevere, whom I interviewed a few weeks back (here’s Part I of our interview on dating and relationships, and Part II on why so many people are leaving the Church right now). Lisa has four sons, so we spoke about men’s perspective on dating, plus we talk about the things she would have done differently at the start of her marriage and how single women can step into nurturing roles.

 

Why Are so Many of us Single + Stuck? Here’s 4 reasons:

  • Decision Paralysis.
  • Perfection vs. Growth Mindset.
  • Intimidation.
  • Spiritual bypass.
  • “God is not holding out on you… I would rather ask big than fail to ask.”

 

What Risks Do You Wish You Would’ve Taken?

  • Lisa shares how she would have approached friendships and her relationship with her mother differently.
  • “Holding unforgiveness against somebody doesn’t protect us. There’s a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.”
  • Lisa reflects on the ways she didn’t give her whole heart to her husband in their first years of marriage.

 

Where Are All the Single Men?

  • Think of how you would feel if you were constantly hearing men say, ‘There are no good single women out there.’ That would feel pretty demotivating, right?
  • “Our words create the reality of our lives.”
  • We wonder why fear rules our lives, but look at what we are constantly speaking over our lives. We worry our worst fears will come true rather than think about what would happen if our wildest dreams come true.

 

Stepping Into Nurturing

  • Lisa’s newest book, Godmothers, is all about the importance of Godmothers and the nurturing they give.
  • What we may not realize is that we don’t need to be a mother or a wife to be someone who nurtures.
  • How can you walk this out? Be a peacemaker. Talk about how you can move forward and know when it’s time to stop talking and start moving. 
  • “Slow to speak. Quick to listen. Slow to wrath.”

 

Resources

  • Keep up with Lisa at LisaBevere.comand on IG at @LisaBevere.
  • Check out Lisa’s podcasts here.
  • You can buy Lisa Bevere’s book, Godmothershere.
  • Check out her work with Messenger International here.
  • Listen to Addison Bevere’s episode on dating and relationships here.
  • Listen to Addison Bevere’s episode on why people are leaving the Christian church here.

 

I am so grateful for my friend Stephanie May Wilson and he her heart to create content to help me walk into a place of God’s presence with trust. She has a new journal called The Between Places: 100 Days to Trusting God When You Don’t Know What’s Next. It’s a prayer journal for seasons of waiting, uncertainty, transitions, and making big decisions. You can pick up your journal at smaywilsonshop.com and use code REFINED for 15% off!

 

You know how they say it takes a village to raise a kid? Well, this podcast is like my baby. Did you know you could financially support their favorite podcasts for as little as $5/mo. (That’s cheaper than a cup of NYC coffee y’all!) Head over to Patreon.com/therefinedcollective to see how you can support the podcast (and get some pretty awesome goodies as a thank you)!