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The Refined Collective Podcast

Oct 18, 2018



“Words not for the ears, but for the soul.” This is Arielle Estoria’s mantra. She is a writer, speaker, and creative based in Los Angeles, CA. When Arielle was invited to speak in Nashville, TN, at Aboundco, she was given total freedom to write whatever she wanted. She graciously shares what she wrote with me and you! One line that stands out for me is “When is the last time you danced with your creator?” Tune in to the episode to hear her beautiful poem and our conversation about love, prayer, and singleness.


Faith and Love

  • We talk about what it means to navigate life as a single woman of faith today.
  • When you are longing for a relationship, it is easy to focus just on that and not focus on yourself in the present.
  • “I have been called to speak and to teach and to preach just as a man has been called to speak and to teach and to preach.”
  • One of Arielle’s very first events she read a poem at, she had a woman approach her and ask her “Do you ever wonder if God spent as much time with Eve as he spent with Adam?” This is a thought that revisits her constantly and we explore what comes up for her when she thinks about it.
  • “Before she even knew that there was a man anywhere near or for her, she only knew her creator.”


Seasons of Life

  • In any season of life, there are a lot of opportunities to learn about yourself. “There’s always those shadow spaces you probably ignore.”
  • As an enneagram type 4, she recognizes that her feelings dominate everything.
  • She has found that she has to sit and assess situations that she feels hurt by. “Not everything has to hurt your feelings.”
  • In her season of singleness, she has come to learn a lot, particularly the importance of calling out your desire.
  • Arielle wants a man with blue eyes who is kind to everyone around him. And guess what? She is allowed to desire both of those things.
  • God is always listening. “Even my smallest of desires and wants and needs, you take them and you consider the whole of them.”


Facing Expectations

  • Arielle notes that we can be so obsessed with something we’ve lost that we can’t see what is coming our way. God is always opening doors for us.
  • “It’s not going to look like how you think it’s going to look.” And that is always a good thing, even if we don’t know it in the moment.
  • “There are so many little things that we need to figure out for ourselves before we can ever be who we need to be with another person.”
  • The grass always seems greener, but we acknowledge the freedom of the season of singleness. It’s important to enjoy the season you’re in, no matter which season it is.
  • “The highs are going to be high and the lows are going to be low and we have to take in every part of each one of them.”


Want more of Arielle? You can check out her website, Instagram, and Twitter. She also has two books on Amazon right now called “Vagabonds & Zealots” and “Write Bloody, Spill Pretty.” I hope she inspired you as much as she inspired me. If you’re loving The Refined Collective Podcast, head over to the podcast app after you’re done listening and subscribe, rate, and review! Share your thoughts on this episode specifically. I want to know what parts of this episode resonated the most with you! I appreciate you all!


This episode is brought to you by the free PDF guide called “Moving Through Fear.” It is full of resources that I hope will help guide you through rejecting the lies in your life and finding the truth.



Kat Harris