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The Refined Collective Podcast

Nov 20, 2018

Do you guys ever send out an email and think ‘this person probably won’t get back to me, but I’ll try anyway’? Me too. Except I got a reply back, and now I got the opportunity to talk with Bob Goff!! (I may have been a little nervous and it may or may not be obvious.) I am inspired by the way he discusses faith, Jesus, loving others, and living a life of adventure. A two-time New York Times best-selling author, Bob Goff wrote Love Does and Everybody Always. You HAVE to get Love Does as a Christmas gift for all of the kiddos in your life. Get your notebooks out; Bob came with some wisdom.

Everybody Always

  • When I was reading his book, I was astonished when he said his child got into skydiving. He talks about the balance between manipulation and support as a parent.
  • “If you’re waving off on things because you’re just afraid, I would double check the return address on that.”
  • He talks about his experience landing planes (he’s pretty much a pro) and telling the air traffic controller that he is a student pilot so they’ll be nicer to him and help him out. He takes it further by saying we should be students in every aspect of life which will bring about more kindness in the world.

Always Right

  • Personally, I have a need to be right. As a former lawyer, Bob used to have a need to be right.
  • Reading his book, I was struck when he said, “We can be correct and not right.”
  • A sports analogy for you: If you want to be right, you are the referee. But Bob sees the other roles you can take on. The cheerleader supports. The mascot represents something greater. We can choose which role we want to fill.
  • “If applause is the goal, join the circus.”

Taking Notes

  • “The people who are most engaged in their lives are actually taking notes on them.”
  • He stresses the idea of capturing everything he talks about. “These things come by you like butterflies, and you don’t have your net out.”
  • Even in simple conversations, we can become more engaged simply by taking notes. It honors the other person.
  • If you don’t take notes, a conversation full of wisdom has just blown by you, uncaptured.
  • “You should walk away having learned more about yourself or more about them.”
  • Hebrews 11:1 “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.”

Love Does

  • Bob wanted to build some schools. The idea was that the money made from his Love Does book sales would go toward building a school. After selling several million copies, the reach has expanded.
  • Love Does Org now has built schools in Uganda, Somalia, and Afghanistan.
  • His book encourages discussions between parents and children.
  • “One of the things I want to do is just have us have more reasons to be talk with each other and reading stories to each other.”

Finding Your Calling

  • We discuss how people often quit when things get hard, but quitting should always be a reflection that you have evolved past where you were.
  • “It’s the wedding of a capability and an opportunity… Your capability may not be your calling.”
  • We talk about how our decisions can be guided by faith, insecurity, and fear.
  • “Let yourself know that you are entitled to beautiful relationships.”
  • “If you take away what you’re known for and you replace it with what you’re longing for, then that would be the beginning of a real conversation.” 

Bob challenges all of us to sit down with a friend and say we want to have an authentic conversation. Then share first what we’re known for then who we really are. “Get in touch with these authentic relationships.”

You can keep up with Bob at his website, the Love Does website, and the Dream Big Framework website.

This episode is brought to you by my free PDF guide “How to Slow Down: 6 Ways to Reset” It is so easy to rush through life. I have been challenged over the year to pause, slow down, and reset. This guide will help you to interrupt the chaos and actually find time to do more things. Go to to check it out.


Kat Harris