Dec 12, 2018
Before we dive in to this episode, I want to talk about the name
of the podcast. reason the podcast is The Refined Collective and
not The Refined Woman is because I wanted to make this a space for
both men and women to share their stories. With that being said,
we’ve got another man on the podcast today!
Reagan Pugh believes any time people gather together is an
opportunity for collaboration and refuses to waste those
opportunities. He founded Assemble in an effort to
support teenagers in collaborations. This week we are talking about
success, balance, rest, self-care, and everything in between. We
went to high school together and lost touch because life happened.
I recently saw his TEDtalk pop up on
Facebook and had to reach out.
- Though he enjoyed working with Calypso for five or six years,
he discovered that the candle was burning at both ends.
“I decided I needed to slow down.”
- He left that position and did contract work until he created
Assemble two years later.
- “No one ever built a country or grew a company or
had an influence on a community without some kind of conflict. They
had to live some kind of hero’s journey
- He didn’t want to cut himself off from that success, so he
worked hard to establish his identity and why he was doing the
- He notes that there are some masculinity issues rooted in the
idea of working without regard for rest.
- “I look at the moments when I felt most alive in my
life and all of those moments have to do with me being an artist,
me writing creatively, me telling stories, me bringing a group of
people together to talk about what’s really going
- He recognizes the fear he had of what his coworkers would think
of his interest in the human connection over the results.
- He thought he was wrong for not being driven by results.
“I don’t find any identity in that, so what’s wrong
- We talk about how Simon Sinek, among others, is a leader in the
thought that human connection is what should drive
- “Instead of being ashamed…I am starting to realize
that it is the higher calling.”
- He recognizes all he learned about improv mentality from
Patrician Ryan Madsen, author of “Improv Wisdom.” The tagline of
this book is, “Don’t prepare; just show
- “There’s this idea of believing that the best
decision was the one you just made.”
- When you make a decision, it is not worth your time to question
- We talk about something we both struggle with: the need to be
right. He remembers one moment he had with his brother where he
asked him, “Would you rather be right or would you
rather have a relationship?”
Who Am I?
- We discuss the control he felt in his first role at Catalyst,
but he realized he could not control was that his identity was not
in that work.
- When he had broken a bone and gone through a breakup, he
reflected on how he got to where he is.
- “Who the hell am I? Where am I finding my identity?
Do I believe the story I have been telling
- From that moment forward, he has let go of the control.
- “We’re afraid of the things we’re going to have to
deal with if we slow down and ask ourselves who we really
- We talk about fearing success and why we experience this. Fears
of being held accountable fearing that we aren’t worthy.
- “What if I put out my unique perspective into the
world and there’s crickets on the other side?”
Head over to ReaganPugh.com to find his TED
talk, connect with him on social media platforms, and sign up for
his email newsletters.
I’ve launched a Bible study for YOU! The Space Between Bible
Study and Meditation Guide will give you tools to create a regular
rhythm of time with God. Head over to therefinedwoman.com/prayer
to grab your guide.
“It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” –