Preview Mode Links will not work in preview mode

The Refined Collective Podcast


Nov 10, 2021

Thank you Newsstand Studio at 1 Rockefeller Plaza for providing a place for me to record this episode for y’all! No more Brooklyn closet recording!!!

 

Today’s guest is my best friend, Sara del Monte, or “Tutti” if you follow her on Instagram. She was on the podcast years ago talking about how to confront unexpected change where she shared all about her pregnancy. You can listen to that here. Recently, I discovered my middle school journal and I have been going through it and reading it. I was sharing my discovery with Tutti and she had recently found hers as well. We decided it would be fun to do a podcast episode where we read our journals and psychoanalyze each other.

 

Kat’s Diary // October 13, 1997

“Title: Melrose Hotel

Main characters: Eve Davis, the mysterious woman who is head over heels for Richie Stale. Katherine Harris, a young woman who is trying to make it big in the modeling business.

Plot: Two roommates who are into partying and catching guys at the clubs come night, but at day they’re two women trying to make a career of being hot and sexy models. They’ve got the looks, the hair, the talk, but do they have the moves? Come see On the Hot.”

 

Let’s unpack that...

  • Tutti and I talk about how this may or may not have been me prophesying our future life in New York City.

 

Tutti’s Diary // February 14, 1999

“Yesterday was my volleyball inauguration. There were so many people. It was raining so much and everything was getting wet. But there was a boy there. His name was Antonio… He is so cute and my friend got to be on his team. They’re on the blue team and he’s number 8. I’m on the red team and I’m number 8. What a coincidence. He’s 13 and almost all girls are in love with him, including me. I hope he feels the same for me. Happy Valentine’s Day. 

Update: He has a girlfriend. She’s older than him.”

 

Let’s unpack that….

  • Life advice: you don’t want to date someone who peaked in high school (or middle school for that matter).
  • Have you peaked yet? We talk about how we feel transformed in adulthood and more confident and comfortable.
  • We talk a bit more about Tutti’s pregnancy journey that kind of feels like a peak for so many reasons. I explore the idea that my peak is still coming.

 

Kat’s Diary // March 13, 1998

“Women are not equal at all to men. We have to put a stop to this. Women and men could have the same exact jobs and men will still get sometimes thousands of dollars more than women just because they’re men. It’s disgusting!! It makes me so angry! When I grow up, I’m going to put a stop to all of this nonsense.”

 

Let’s unpack that…

  • This is one of many journal entries where injustice had boiled in me. I always thought I was an enneagram 3 but this is making me realize I may have a bit of enneagram 8 in me.
  • I was honestly shocked that I wrote that. I didn’t know I was a feminist when I was little. I wonder who it was who taught me about the pay gap.
  • We talk about how this spark in middle school me has translated to my current work in addressing the hard topics.
  • Tutti shares how her benchmark of who she is as a person is her childhood self, who was friendly, outspoken, and free.

If you’re interested in another episode like this, let us know in a review on iTunes or in an email to social@therefinedwoman.com.

 

Resources

  • Listen to Tutti’s first episode of TRC about her unexpected pregnancy journey here.
  • Keep up with Tutti on Instagram at @tuttidelmonte.
  • If you need a boudoir photographer, check out budoirbytutti.com
  • Check out Rockefeller Center on IG at @rockefellercenter and Twitter at @rockcenternyc



I am such a fan of dainty, feminine, delicate jewelry. I also am a firm believer that the physical is always an invitation to the spiritual. This is why I am so excited to be partnering with NYC-based, female-founded jewelry company Satya. Satya means “truth” in Sanskrit and all of their pieces are designed to bring joy, peace, and hope. To dive into the beautiful world of Satya jewelry, visit www.satyajewelry.com and use promo code RC15 for 15% off your first order.

 

Did you know that 30 million women are impacted by weakened or thinning hair? If you are among them, know you are not alone and that there’s a solution you can trust. Thousands of women have taken back control of their hair thickness and overall confidence with Nutrafol. Go to Nutrafol.com and enter promo code KAT to save $15 off your first month’s subscription. This is their best offer anywhere! And it is only open to US residents at this time.

 

This podcast is sponsored by Better Help. I’ve done therapy off and on for years and am such an advocate for therapy. Better Help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist who you can start communicating with in under 48 hours. It’s affordable and accessible with financial aid available. Visit BetterHelp.com/refined for 10% off your first month and join the over 2 million people who have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional.