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The Refined Collective Podcast

Aug 12, 2020

This week, I two guests…double the fun y’all! I have the pleasure of talking to Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick, the podcast hosts of The Dateable Podcast. When they began, it was a whole lot of ‘dating sucks,’ but they’ve transitioned out of that to focusing on getting to the bottom of why people do the things they do. We’re chatting all things dating during COVID, dating in the midst of the BLM Movement, and ALL the things.


It’s Not Just You

  • Everyone thinks they’re alone in their dating struggles, but if you talk to enough people you find that it’s pretty universal.
  • “There’s so much looking outward at other people’s behavior that people forget to look at their own behavior.”
  • One of the biggest struggles in dating is that for a long time, there was just a lot of bad advice out there.


Lessons Learned from Hosting a Dating Podcast

  • “There’s no formula. Love cannot be hacked. It just doesn’t work that way.”
  • Julie and Yue share some of their own dating experiences— they even interviewed some of their first dates for their podcast!!
  • Dating doesn’t always end in marriage, and that is ok! Sometimes the outcome of a date is just a platonic relationship, and that’s okay.


What Dating in 2020 is Really Like… 

  • “This might not end for a while. We just don’t know. The only thing we can do is adapt to what we are given.”
  • Mindset is everything, whether you’re using this time to video date or focus on yourself.
  • “This could be a really great thing for our dating lives if we let it be.”
  • We talk about how more and more people are putting their support of Black Lives Matter in dating profiles, and I share a personal story of ending a first date with a man.
  • “A lot of times, we don’t know what’s important to us until we experience it.”
  • “The key to modern dating is to trust yourself. There isn’t a rulebook.”




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