Sep 11, 2019
It’s been a minute since I’ve done a solo show! I’m going to be
honest with you guys: one of my fears is that you will only listen
to the podcast if I have guests on or that the podcast will only
grow if I have guests sharing the episode with their communities.
But I’m moving through this insecurity and bringing the fear to
light to give it less power. That being said, I am committed to
stepping into this vulnerable space and doing more solo shows for
you! Randomly during one of my workout classes the phrase “babies,
botox, and body image” popped into my head. So that’s what we are
going to discuss today! Before we dive in, I want you to know that
you have permission to be in the process and on the journey. None
of us are perfect!
- I’ve always wanted to be a mother, but life has not turned out
like I thought it would.
- This year is the first time I started to feel that biological
clock start ticking.
- I don’t want fear driving me into a relationship because of
pressure to get things going.
- Even in the midst of disappointment and unmet expectations, I
am allowed to hope.
- It’s okay to want to have babies and it’s okay to not want to
- 1 Samuel 1: Hannah asks God for a son and she ends her life
with five children.
- Mark Batterson, author of
The Circle Maker, says to
be bold and specific in prayer and then surrender.
- It’s okay to be honest with God about your desire. It’s
ok to be disappointed with God. He can handle it. He is gracious,
kind, and patient. He wants to be in relationship with
“You’re allowed to be a person in
- People ask me what I do for my skin and the reality is that I
take really good care of it (Rodan and Fields anti aging
system, Primally Pure toxic free clarifying
serum, hyolauronic acid)… and I also
- Botox always felt so vain and fake in my opinion, so I judged
myself for wanting it.
- Even though I really love it, I have still felt shame about it
and felt silently judged when it comes up in conversations.
- We need to disconnect from the “should,” because then we can
really unfold why we want this thing and discover if it is in
alignment with who we are.
- I judged myself because I wanted to look and feel younger. I
felt like I’d be letting you down if you knew that I still have
insecurities—but I am in process just as you are.
- “Do we have space for each other to be on a
journey? Gosh, I sure hope so.”
- I love the body positivity movement and the fact that women
like Ashley Graham are literally changing the game in the fashion
industry and in our culture.
- I do think we live in a culture of extremism, though. I’m a
size 6, but models that are getting jobs are size 00 or size 12+.
It still breeds the mentality of ‘not enough.’
- Is there space for a person like me to be represented in our
culture? I have lost ‘influencer’ jobs for not being skinny enough
+ now for not being big enough.
- “It’s almost felt as though I don’t have the
permission to struggle with my body image because I’m in the middle
of the road.”
- I overcame an eating disorder and praise God for that! (If you
didn’t know that, I have an episode all about
it.) I am healthy but I also have days where I
don’t feel confident.
- I was listening to This American Life recently called
where a woman goes into therapy sessions while moving through abuse
from childhood. She had to give herself permission to grieve and
seek healing from a sexual abuse where she wasn’t raped. She didn’t
think her pain was valid because it wasn’t as bad as someone
- “Wholeness is acknowledging that my stuff is worth
gaining freedom from no matter how big or little I think it
- I hope that our culture can keep embracing body positivity and
that we create a culture of honor for all shapes and sizes.
My hope is that my story reminds you
you’re not alone,
you’re allowed to hope,
you’re allowed to be imperfect,
you’re allowed to be on a journey.
You, just as you are today right now, are
Let’s talk about these things! Head over to @therefinedcollective and let’s have a
conversation. I want to thank you for all of your encouraging
comments, DMs, and reviews. I want to hear what episode has meant
the most to you! Let us know in a review on iTunes and while you’re
there, make sure you subscribe so you can get new episodes
delivered to your phone as soon as they go live!
Hey, single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world?
This episode is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to
Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These
resources helped propel me from sitting on the couch to out on a
date. Head over to Bit.ly/trwdatingtips to check it
out! With you on the journey.