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The Refined Collective Podcast

Jun 17, 2020

Jillian Turecki is a NYC based certified relationship coach, yoga teacher and writer. For 20 years, she has been studying the body and the mind. Fueled by an insatiable curiosity about what makes a relationship thrive. Through her work, Jillian has helped thousands revolutionize their relationship with themselves so that they can transform their love lives. Jillian is sought out for her compassionate, direct, and very authentic style of coaching and teaching. Under the tutelage of Tony Robbins and world-renowned family therapist Cloe Madanes, Jillian is certified by the Robbins Madanes Center for Strategic Intervention.


“Our entire experience of life boils down to relationship. From the intimacy we crave with a partner to the success we achieve through our work. None of it is possible without understanding our own psychology and the psychology of those we relate to. We never learned this at school, but it is learnable.” - Jillian Turecki


What does it mean to be blocked from love?

  • Your psychology determines your energy and how you show up in your life.
  • “Just because you really want something, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s coming to you as quickly as you would like it to come.”
  • When we’re in a desperate place we’re blocking ourselves.


5 Ways to identify if you’re blocking yourself from love?

  • Are you afraid? Maybe you want a relationship, but you also associate a lot of pain with relationships.
  • Are you losing faith? Or maybe you’ve put yourself out there so much + are losing faith that it’ll happen.
  • What’s fueling your desire? Anxiety, desperation, fear?
  • Do you feel desperate for love?
  • Maybe even obsessed with a relationship? Like your life, purpose, and calling revolve around getting married. (aka…my life will start when I meet my person)?


How our beliefs impact our ability to attract love:

  • Whatever we believe, we’ll see evidence of it everywhere.”
  • You have the ability to challenge your beliefs: 
  • Is this really true? 
  • Is it possible you could be wrong?
  • We don’t do anything that doesn’t have a side benefit. 
  • Ask yourself these 2 questions: 
  • What’s the reward you’re getting for the beliefs? 
  • Why are you trying to keep yourself safe + protected?


A Roadmap to Clear the Way for Love: 6 Practical things you can do today.

  • Identifythe beliefs that are holding you back.
  • Break freefrom the addiction of surrounding yourself with people with the same limiting beliefs. Talk to people who don’t share those beliefs about love and are able to offer you a different perspective.
  • Identify the experiencesin your life that have led you here.
  • Ask yourself:Is your perspective freeing you or choking you?
  • Self-worth:When we obsess over love, it’s because deep down we doubt we’re worthy of it.
  • Enough-ness:Where are your fears of not being enough getting in your way?


#1 thing you can do to unblock love:

Learn how to be secure in your worth and make yourself happy as opposed to waiting for someone to make you happy:

  • Marriage is not the be all end all.
  • Mixed Messages: if someone is uncertain about you—there have to be boundaries.
  • “If a guy likes you, you’ll know. If he doesn’t, you’ll be confused.”


How buying into the myth of the ‘independent woman’ could be keeping you from love:

  • Are you independent, codependent, or interdependent?
  • Codependence: I can’t be happy unless you’re happy. I don’t know what my needs are. I can’t focus on my life because I’m only focusing on yours.
  • Independence:I don’t need anyone. If I’m vulnerable I’m weak.
  • Interdependence:I love you, but I don’t need you to make me happy.



  • Check out Jillian’s website here, where you can join her Conscious Woman Membership.
  • Follow Jillian on Instagram at @jillianturecki
  • Have any questions for Jillian? Reach out to her here! Or email her


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A HUGE shoutout to some of our newest Patreon supporters: Judy Mills, Amanda Curry, Jane Jackson, and LB! We are so grateful for you!


Single ladies— do you feel stuck, lonely, discouraged or frustrated by your dating life, or lack thereof? This is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources propelled me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to to check it out!