Jan 6, 2021
I’ve been putting off this episode because I’ve wanted to create something exciting + inspiring as we head into a new year. But if I’m being honest, I’m exhausted and burnt out. I feel like I crawled to the finish line of 2020. In that, as much as I want to move forward and forget about 2020, I can’t. Before we can move on to a new year, before we can cast new vision, we have to pause, and LOOK BACKWARDS BEFORE MOVING FORWARD.
2020 Reflection Questions:
My lessons from 2020:
“For in grief nothing "stays put." One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral?
But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?
How often -- will it be for always? -- how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, "I never realized my loss till this moment"? The same leg is cut off time after time.”
- C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
Will it be for always?
I remembered the squats from The Class. Everything is temporary. Discomfort, frustration, and pain aren’t the end.
God is committed to making all things new. And that means all the things.
All I want to do is move on from last year and have 2020 be the year that must not be named. But 2020 did happen. The entire world shutdown + it sucked— it sucks—and I walked through some of the deepest heartaches of my life this past summer…and I’ve cried until there were no tears left—and somehow another wave would come. I’ve grieved deeply, processed…and now I'm ready for it to be over. I'm ready for the breakthrough…no more breaking please—I'm ready for the breakthrough. But I wonder if part of the breakthrough is having the courage to be in it, sit in it, feel all the feels—like an ocean wave—let it wash over us, look back through it, dissect it, ask it—what are you trying to teach me? Before we move on, what if we stayed a little while longer + squeezed out all the learning that it has for us?
So maybe don’t rush out of this place.
trusting that it won’t last forever + that God is making all things new + that the growth begins when we step into the discomfort + we must move through it to the other side…can you pause?
Can you be?
Can you be still.
Can you be still and know.
Can you be still and know that God is God?
Breathe into it.
Spend some time looking back before moving forward.
Your breakthrough is coming—but first there must be a breaking + it’s not often we get to experience such a collective breaking. But it makes me hopeful that God wants to do something new in you, in me, in them, in us.
Here’s to 2021.
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I was tired of hearing male pastors preach about waiting until marriage for sex when they had gotten married in their early 20s and had no idea what it was really like to date in today’s culture! I wanted to hear from someone in my shoes— so I wrote a book! It’s called Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex and it’s coming out in April 2021! Head over to bit.ly/kat-sexless to pre-order now!