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The Refined Collective Podcast

May 30, 2019


This week, the Dudes Series continues with Tim Timberlake! He is the pastor of Christian Faith Center in North Carolina. He has been married to wife Jen for five years and together they are the parents of a two-year-old named Maxwell Ace Timberlake. He calls himself a Christian first, a husband second, a father third, and then he’s a pastor.

How do you grow together in marriage?

  • Tim shares his experience as a divorced man who went on to find the love of his life.
  • “You can absolutely be married to God’s perfect choice, but if both people aren’t pursuing God, then that quickly changes.”
  • Communication can help us to grow together, because change is inevitable.
  • “Every want that I have is leading me towards my flesh.”
  • We have to lean into the promise from God that we will be with the person we are meant to be with.
  • “We don’t get let down by what happens to us, we get let down by what we expected not to happen to us.” 

3 things to put on your list:

  • Do you guys make those lists of perfect qualities you’d like in your partner?
  • “My list at 20 is completely different than my list at 30.”
  • Make sure that your list focuses on common ground—things that can bring you closer as a couple. Make sure he pursues Jesus, and physical attraction is important too!

How can we practice sacrifice as single women?

  • Love is a choice and there is no other relationship that sets us up for the sacrifices and commitment through the tough times when we are in seasons of singleness.
  • “The way that I treated my time with God was the exact same way I treated the people around me who needed my sacrifice.”
  • He notes that whenever he finds himself being short with the people he loves, he can pinpoint it to not spending enough time with God.
  • “I want this person to win more than I want to win in this relationship.”

Lightning round:

  • Can guys tell when a woman likes her? ABSOLUTELY! But misreads do happen.
  • Does attraction have to be there from the start? Attraction will constantly evolve.
  • Which do you value more—respect or love? Respect and honor go hand in hand. Honor is impossible without love. There has to be action behind it.
  • How do I know if he likes me? If he makes sacrifices for you, he’s serious about you. There’s a distinction to be made between want (convenience) and like.

You can keep up with Tim at or on Instagram at @ttimberlake and Twitter @timtimberlake.

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Hey, single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world? This episode is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources helped propel me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to to check it out! With you on the journey.