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The Refined Collective Podcast

Mar 12, 2019


This week I’m chatting with Kait Warman of Heart of Dating—our first repeat guest!! She’s based in LA so we are long-distance gal pals encouraging each other on our journey of singleness. Today, we’re diving into online dating. Kait sets you up with her top online dating tips (and even shares her favorite app). Make sure you tune into her podcast this week to hear me share my tips for online dating! We may or may not break out into song…

Why online dating?

  • Some people think online dating isn’t Godly dating, but God works in all ways.
  • We have to be active in dating. She references a book called “How To Get A Date Worth Keeping” by Henry Cloud, saying “Unless we expect to marry the Amazon delivery guy, God is not dropping a guy on our doorstep.”
  • Worried about sketchy guys? It’s just like the real world. You’ll find some weirdos, but there are also some really great guys on there.

What are the best photos to use?

  • Make sure you’re sharing not just your face, but your personality.
  • Don’t make every photo a mirror selfie, make sure you’re switching things up so that every photo is there for a purpose.
  • At least one photo should be fairly close and very clear so that they know what you actually look like. And throw in a full body photo too!

When is it time to take it from online to real life?

  • Find something you have in common through asking questions. For example, Kait knows that an extreme sports guy is not the right one for her.
  • Make sure you share a core value. Kait always like to know the guy loves Jesus before she goes out with him. She puts it clearly on her profile and if they ignore that, she considers it to be a red flag.
  • A good question to ask is “What are your top 3 things to do over the weekend?” That gives him a chance to share his hobbies as well as if he goes to church.

Top 3 Online Dating Tips:

  • Be patient and open-minded. If you are in the mindset that online dating is awful, then you are going to have an awful experience.
  • Be specific with your questioning and know what you’re looking for—you don’t want to go in blind!
  • Know when to take a break. If you’ve been on for a while and are feeling run down and rejected, step away from it until you feel ready again. Keep your boundaries clear; the apps will always be there.

Kait’s favorite dating app?

  • Hinge! It has changed over the years, and now it lets you answer questions about yourself and set religious specifications.

Final dating advice?

“See the process of dating as an amazing means to meet different people.”

Keep up with Kait at Heart of Dating and @heartofdating. You can connect with her personally on Instagram at @kaitness.

Hey, single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world? This episode is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These resources helped propel me from sitting on the couch to out on a date. Head over to to check it out! With you on the journey.

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P.S. If you want to continue the conversation in a more private setting, join my Private TRW Single Ladies Community!