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The Refined Collective Podcast

Nov 28, 2018

You guys, this is a pretty important episode. You may know her as Tutti del Monte if you follow her on Instagram or Sara del Monte if you know her in real life. She is one of my best friends, so I call her ‘sissy.’ This episode has quite a few inside jokes and a whole lot of laughter. I wanted to share this with you because Sara inspires me so much with her femininity, grace, patience, and humility. She has gone through a major transition in life this past year and has done so with such grace, even when plans fall to pieces. I look up to this woman for a million and one reasons and am so excited to be sharing her story with you.

Where It All Began

  • Sara met my ex at a housewarming party and he left the party knowing that we would be best friends. We met later at a photoshoot collaboration and It was love at first sight and we’ve been friends ever since.
  • “If the only reason he was in my life was to meet you…” “I certainly believe that.”
  • This time last year, Sara was single, taking time for herself, working out, and focusing on her work with her photography business Boudoir by Tutti.
  • Our entire friend group felt a change coming, but we weren’t sure what it was going to be or who it was going to be for.
  • “There was a shift happening and we were in it.”

The Graceful Transition

  • She became pregnant unexpectedly while living in New York. Though this wasn’t part of her plan, she recognized that this was something she has always wanted.
  • “It took me my community and it took me some time to understand what this would mean for my life.”
  • She was determined to stay in New York and raise the baby among friends. “I wanted my life to continue the way it was plus a baby.”
  • After doing some research and determining what it would actually look like to have a baby in New York, she decided to move home to Florida.
  • “What keeps me sane is ‘what is the bigger picture here?”

Confronting Expectations

  • “I always thought being pregnant was going to be with a partner by my side experiencing every little kick of the baby, every appointment at the doctors, every mile stone.”
  • Not being in a committed relationship with her baby’s dad, she experienced moments of loneliness and sadness. But she got to share those moments with friends, family, and community.
  • “I still have those things, it just feels so different.”
  • Though she was tired through pretty much all of her first trimester, she enjoyed the experience of being pregnant.

Faith + Friendship

  • We have spent a lot of time together doing devotionals and discussing our faith. She isn’t afraid to ask questions and dig into her faith.
  • “God has really showed up in my life in the way of you.”
  • Now that she is a mother, she experiences God through her sweet baby boy.
  • “I feel very grateful that doors have been closed when they have been and doors have been opened when they have been.”
  • We talk about how there are so many people praying for her baby.

The Last Moments of Pregnancy/ The First Moments of Motherhood

  • Going in to labor, she knew she didn’t want any epidurals.
  • “I wanted to experience birth, I just wanted to completely experience it.”
  • After going to a doctor appointment after her due date had passed, she was told she needed to have labor induced.
  • “Everything I had planned would from the very get-go be different.”
  • Packed for a trip to the beach, she instead took a trip to the hospital to give birth.
  • “Plan something and God up there is laughing.”
  • She reflects on the pain and beauty of going through labor and letting go of her plans.
  • “That moment you first see your child is otherworldly.”

I’m going to end this with some advice Sara would have given herself a year ago; I think it’s probably something a lot of you need to hear right now. “Experience the process. There is going to be light at the end of the tunnel.” You can keep up with Sara, her work, and her journey of motherhood on Instagram and at her website.

This episode is brought to you by my free PDF guide “How to Slow Down: 6 Ways to Reset” It is so easy to rush through life. I have been challenged over the year to pause, slow down, and reset. This guide will help you to interrupt the chaos and actually find time to do more things. Go to to check it out.


Kat Harris