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The Refined Collective Podcast

Aug 28, 2018

This week, there's no guest. Just me. This is the first time I’ve done this on the podcast y’all. It feels vulnerable, but I woke up yesterday with this overwhelming sense that I wanted to share with you the greatest tool I have to tackle anxiety.  


Do you ever get those nudges from deep down.  It’s like God is tapping you on the shoulder and nudging you forward, and you can’t ignore it?  Ya...that was me this week. I knew that I knew that I knew that I had to share with you about overcoming fear and anxiety as soon as possible.


...All I can remember is this feeling of hot, burning tears squeezing out of my eyelids, and my cheek pressed to the cold tile of the bathroom floor.


It was my first anxiety attack.  I was in the middle of photographing a wedding when it hit me like a bus. Luckily I had an assistant photographer there to take over while I ran out of the reception.


God, what is going on with my body?


I felt so scared.

I felt out of control.


It was that fight or flight response, but the thing is that I was not in a fight or flight situation. The cortisol rushed through my body and my body didn’t know how to handle it. I shut down.


You see our bodies are designed to heal us.  That fight or flight response is activated when our mind signals to our bodies there’s an in the troops...sound the alarms. It’s the thing in us that jolts our body if we cross the street and almost get hit by a car and last minute jump out of the way.


But sometimes our fight or flight activates when we’re not in a life or death situation.  You see our bodies respond to our minds, and our minds respond to our thoughts.


There are a million ways to ease the symptoms of anxiety, but what is it that is causing these attacks? We have to dig deeper.  


At that time, I would have told you that I believed God had a plan for me. But deep down? My core thought life believed:


  • If it was meant to me it was up to me.
  • Other people won’t take care of me, I have to take care of myself.
  • God probably wasn’t really listening to me.

And if those things are true, then ya...a semi-stressful situation becomes overwhelming fast.


What are the limiting beliefs, fears, and lies...the thoughts maybe you’re even afraid to admit you have that are sparking fear and anxiety within you?


Here’s the thing, there’s hope because:


Light always overcomes darkness. And truth defeats fear.  ALWAYS.

So pause.

Take a deep breath in and out.

Can you identify the fear?

Can you replace it with something that is true?

As you sit, take a moment to do this. Breathe in and breathe out longer. When we have longer exhales than inhales it physically communicates to our minds that we are safe.  It’s a pretty wild thing. Once again, our bodies designed to heal.

One of the tools I turn to often when fear comes knocking is literally OUT LOUD speaking truth to myself.

When I need truth spoken over to me, I turn to a poem written by Danielle Bennett.  I can’t even begin to tell you how much this woman and her words have brought life to my weary soul in my moments of need.


“She has seen a succulent survive enough times to know that she is much stronger than she thinks.”


Tune in to the episode to hear the full poem. Find what resonates with you. Share with me over at @therefinedcollective on Instagram. You are not alone on this journey.

This episode is brought to you by the guide I made on moving through fear. You can find it over at