Jun 4, 2019
Hey, friends! The Dudes Series is back this week with Jeff Johnson, a
worship pastor at Passion City Church in Atlanta. This episode is
all about how to create a culture of honor in dating. Jeff shares
his love story (he and his wife, Jourdan, dated off and on for 10
years), which is a beautiful reminder that love can look different
for everyone. He also talks about the biggest fears guys have
(spoiler alert: they have just as many as we do),
pornography, and what to do when/if the guy you’re with shares that
he struggles in this area.
Does attraction have to be there from the
- Personally, he was physically attracted to Jourdan since the
first time he saw her.
- “Over the years, there are certain characteristics
of hers that make me more attracted to her.”
- Attraction is not just physical; attraction goes deeper than
that. “Her character speaks louder than her
How can a break be used for growth?
- They broke up after being together for 8 years. Jeff thought he
just needed time to work on himself, but Jourdan moved on and
started dating a new guy.
- “Every struggle I’m trying to work through needs to
be about God… not for Jourdan.”
- Jeff put in the work, invited his community in to the struggle,
and sought counseling.
- They got back together two years later when he was clear with
his intentions with her. They were married within six months.
Which do you value more, respect or love?
- “Guys want to feel respected and like they carry
weight in the relationship.”
- He acknowledges that men are wounded—some guys out there did
not have the male leaders guiding them to step into their roles as
- “Extend grace to the guy that you’re walking with
because they are broken.”
- Sometimes we need to just remember that we are all broken and
it is not productive to expect perfection from the other
What are the biggest fears guys have in
- If they open up about something, they want to know they will be
accepted and understood. They want to feel safe.
- Being with someone 24/7, everything comes out into the open.
“When you get married, there is nothing off the
- “I know your story and it’s covered by grace, just
like my story is covered by grace.”
How do you discuss porn when he shares it is something
he struggles with?
- It’s hard for women to hear these struggles because they often
fall into the trap of thinking they are not enough, which is not
- Think about if you see friends in his life bringing him closer
to Christ and challenging him on this issue.
- “That’s a really good indication of what her life
might look like with this person... if he’s willing to fight
through the hard things or if he’s not.”
Thank you so much for listening to the podcast and being part of
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Hey, single ladies— are you frustrated by the dating world?
This episode is brought to you by my free guide called “6 Tips to
Activate Your Dating Life with Intention and Clarity.” These
resources helped propel me from sitting on the couch to out on a
date. Head over to
Bit.ly/trwdating to check it out! With you on